Starting again...with God :)

In our lives, a lot of times we need to make a decision. Decision-making is not an easy job. It's not as simple as ABC's or 123's. I hate to admit it but making a decision and stand for that specific decision you'll make is the hardest thing to do. It requires a lot of time and effort to think and think and think of all the possible consequences that it can cause. I'm afraid to decide especially when it comes to myself or MY LIFE rather. I'm afraid of the possible results of making a decision. My mind is always preoccupied by things, negative things, that's why I'm scared of making that step. Because of this fear I have in my heart, my only solution and escape to decision-making problem is... waiting for a person and a perfect time. Though it's very difficult and shameful to admit but my decisions are not really MINE coz I'm just being dependent to the decisions of others especially my family and friends. I have this fear in my heart that I can't let go and its the reason why I'm still here, standing at the same spot I was standing before. :(

But God never gave up towards me. I've made wrong decisions in my life coz all I just did was to follow the opinions and the decisions of others and just going with the "flow", an "unknown flow". I've never listened to those things God's telling me. God's trying to talk to me many times, through scriptures, verses, people, chances but I've never ever CARE TO LISTEN to HIM. Despite of my unfaithfulness to Him, God never ever gives up and His love for me (not only for me but for all of us) is very unconditional.

Last night, I cried with all my heart and soul to God. I cried out all the negative feelings and emotions I''m keeping inside my heart for a very long time. That very night, while listening to Big Daddy Weave's "Without You" God spoke to me. God is telling me to start again and rise up again. God's shouting inside my heart and my mind "Do not be afraid to WALK coz I'm here, You're my princess and I will never leave you nor forsake you." From that very moment of my life, I cried and cried and cried. My tears won't stop falling. My heart is pouring out the pains and hurts I've taking care inside. I realized all the things God's telling me. I realized that now is the time to face all the consequences of my decisions. Now is the time to be independent and to be brave to stand up and commit to whatever decisions I will make in the future. I shouldn't be afraid, I shouldn't not worry coz for as long as I'm following God's telling me I know that everything will be ok. Everything will work out just fine coz God is with me and He has a lot of promises for His children.

Maybe at first, things will be difficult but as long as I'm determined and dedicated to reach my goals and to manage my priorities and as long as I'm walking with God, surely, good and wonderful things will happen. Now, God provides me knowledge, wisdom, courage and strength to move on and step forward. There's gotta be more to life like what Stacie Orrico's song is expressing. So now, I'm prepared to live my life to the fullest and start again my journey towards righteousness and success with God!

Verse:

Proverbs 3:5-6

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path."

:) : Thanks to that person whom God allowed me to meet. God's using him as His instrument to guide and encourage me for my down and weary-teary times =). You know who you are and I'm very blessed to have you in my life. May God continue to bless you for you have a good heart and you deserve God's blessings. Thank you again for everything.